BALANCING MOTHERHOOD AND MARRIAGE

What is life, without a busy schedule? What is life without commitment?

It feels, as if something would be missing right. Ever since I was a young girl, I have always been on the go. I was very sporty back in the day and I was quite lucky, because the secondary school I went to had a track! YES, you can imagine, I was so in my element. It felt like the track was my life, it was a place where I was free; free to run around, run with my thoughts, run to clear my thoughts, and run to be me.

Every break between lessons, my friends, and I would run around the track, because there were a few of us, who enjoyed running and playing tag, so it definitely made our day. Not only did it keep me fit, or motivated, it encouraged me to believe, I could do anything I set my mind to do. I do not know where I would be today, if I stay focused on running, but it sure kept me committed to improving myself personally and physically.

how do I stay busy and committed now?

I have to thank my son and my husband for that! Balancing motherhood and marriage can be difficult, but only if we think too much on separating the two. I have an amazing boy who is four and an amazing husband, which I have been married to for nearly five years. Our journey has had its difficulties, but we are still here as a family standing together. It sounds weird, but to me, motherhood is like being married; because of the unconditional love and vows, we make to our child/children.

‘I promise to care for you, to love you, to protect and guide you’

These vows are not for everyone and you probably think that the vows for our children is a bit weird, but think about it. As we become parents, we are committing ourselves;

• To loving our children (showing them what it is like to feel loved, to give love and receive love

• To guiding them in the best way possible (showing them that not every path in life is clear or right, but showing them that decisions determine where they may end up)

• To ensuring, they get best of life. (It is important that we understand that, because this is the time where our kids, need us more than ever. We have to provide that stability in the home, those deeper bonds and connections and in-between, take adventures and make positive memories, so they never forget where they started).

There is also, that vow that we make to our partner;

• ‘I promise to be there through sickness and in health, to care for you and to honor you’ (Vows are different for everyone, but this can also apply to our children. Because life will throw a curve ball and there may be sleepless nights, weeks or months, but loving them through sickness and health, can be such a strong medicine.

However, these vows does not just have to be in marriage, but for anyone who is in a relationship that is on solid grounds. It is so important that we listen and acknowledge one another, that we cherish one another and be supportive. Sometimes we do not realise how much the past has hurt someone, until they take the chance to heal with us and they learn to love again. These vows, I have taken for both of my boys and I will hold them very close to my heart.

how do I balance the both?

It is about making time. Time is so important in anything that we do and no matter how busy we are, we need to make time, for those in our lives. I always cherish every moment I get with my son and husband, because having them in my life, is God’s promise to me, that I am capable of being loved and giving the right love, no matter what the past taught me. Time. We always ask where do the days go, where has the time gone? Sometimes we ask, because we have been so productive that it passes us by, sometimes it is because we just do not have the strength to do anything and we just clock watch. Time. Time is valuable and time shows us how fast we grow as individuals. So making sure that both my boys have their time with me, is very important.

As a mother, I feel like time literally flies past before our eyes. One minute we have a baby and next minute, they are a teenager! Honestly, it is crazy. I look at my son and every day, he just seems to be transforming into a young man, in a little body. He is only four and a half and already at 3ft and I am only 5ft.4, next thing I know he is going to be as tall as I am! When I look at him; I forget that he is of that age, but my heart knows of course, that he is just growing healthily and very quickly. Every minute with him; is eye opening and it is never boring, because he is full of so much character. He is so energetic! From the moment, he wakes up, until he goes to sleep. He is kind of at the stage now, where he does not nap, so it is all go, go and go!

Spending time with him, allows me to see every learning curve in his life and I am grateful that I get to see it. Ky is very creative, musical, and sporty and oh yes a real gamer, like his daddy! We never spend time, doing one thing. We are either drawing, painting, singing, dancing, playing ‘soccer’ as he calls it, or playing Mario 3D World.

When we are together, I can see the joy in his eyes and he always says ‘I am happy’ you know that melts my heart. All I want for him is to be happy in this world and every little thing, I can do, to contribute to that, I will give it my all. Yes, there are times, where I am tired and feel like I cannot do anything, but I find the strength to make myself as active as possible, because at the end of the day, I always think about the time we have had, the time we have, and the time, we will never have..

Being a wife, every day is a brand new day. I say this, because there is always something new that we learn about eachother, whether it’s our capabilities, habits or new likes and dislikes. It’s just amazing to go through such a learning curve and adventure with such a wonderful man beside me.

So we always make sure that we get that time together. We always try and have a date night at least once a month. We enjoy going to the cinema and out for dinner, it’s one of our favourite things to do; because we enjoy one another’s company and having time to be ourselves. It’s even the smallest thing, of getting the little one settled in time, so we can just relax and watch a film before bed time. Sometimes as parents we forget who we are as individuals, but we always have to remember to take time out for one another. It’s important to have that time out, that down time and fun time. We do not realise how much communication, listening and understanding, makes an impact on that intimate interaction, which we allow need to cherish and appreciate.

So when I think about my life, with my boys, I have to make sure that they both get the attention they need and that they deserve, because what I give, will make an impact on the way they see love, life and the meaning of family. All I wish to be, is a positive role model, because that’s what this world needs.

I know I have already said, but family means the world to me and the fact that I have both of them in my world, is more than I could ever ask for. I am grateful to God; for bringing these two special people into my life, for showing me what love is, for showing me what life means and for allowing me to take each chapter with them.

Time

Time is a stepping stone, that allows growth in our lives. Time is like a tree; love is the root that nourishes each of us and builds us up. Our personalities, capabilities, qualities, dreams and hopes, makes up the branches of our uniqueness and individuality. It allows us to grow together, as a unit, with meaning and value.

Every chapter that we turn together, unfolds into our own beautiful story..

What story, will you make?