FATHERHOOD

Welcome back to my blog!

I hope you are keeping well and had a lovely weekend. The past few weeks I have been surrounded by love and I have seen what a family and extended family looks like. I had the privilege to have my dad in my life and to have a stepdad who loved me like his own and although I have lost them both in this world, I know I will see them both again one day and thinking about them, has given me the thought, to gather some insight into fatherhood, from my friends and family.

Life, takes it toil and it makes us realise how important a strong and effective rapport is, with those we love the most. Love is such a beautiful gift to have and to share and sometimes we do not realise the value or the worth, of having a parent, until circumstances change, but also when we come become parents ourselves; perspectives and mindset changes. There’s always that concern about becoming a parent and I don’t think a lot of Fathers express their experiences or concerns, as much as they would like to. So this blog, will be a collective train of thoughts, from the Fathers around me, to get the ins and out of their Fatherhood journey.

So without further ado, lets dive into the chapters of Fatherhood. Here is a summary of the responses, I have gathered, by the help of some great men.

When you found out, you were going to be a Father, how did it make you feel?

• When I found out; it was a bag of mixed emotions. I was definitely scared because I wasn't ready at the time I wasn’t married etc.

  So I didn't think my FSM would take it well either. But I always knew I would be a good dad and so did people around me, but I suppose I thought I had more time to prepare.

• I would say that at first I was in total shock but my head slowly filled with worries about if I would be a good dad, excitement of having a little gaming buddy and pride most of all.

Being a Father now, what are your thoughts?

Daddy and Son Photo by Nanny Alleyne

• I wouldn't change it for the world. Everything happens for a reason and so I have no regrets and he's one of the best things to ever happened to me.

• Kids are expensive but boy do they bring you joy at every step of the way. My thoughts in general when it comes to being father, is that I always think ahead to cater for my child’s needs before mine and I’m much more mindful of my actions as I do try to set an example.

What are the biggest challenges you have had to face or currently facing?

• The biggest challenge has been the fact that he is autistic and coming to terms with the fact that the life I had invisioned being a parent, having a son is far from what I thought it would be. However, as I said, I wouldn't change it for the world and actually, it's still is filled with all the love I had envisioned, but everything done and shown in different ways.

• I would say my biggest challenges I face with being a father is to be patient more, fitting time and space around the child and protecting them from the dangers of the world.

What advice would you give to the new Fathers out there?

• Just that you can never ever really prepare for being a father. All you can do is hope and pray for wisdom, strength and courage and focus on being the best version of yourself, because at the end of the day,, you want to come in to fatherhood being your best self. Life can be hard at times and you lose some of your individuality but you have to accept that this is your calling and follow through. Once you give it a chance and you hold your child for the first time, your life will change for the better forever.

• Greatest advice I could give; is to show nothing but love towards the child, as it will impact them harder then you think and take everything one step at a time. Also never doubt yourself, because just being there to see them grow and nurture them is enough to be a great father.

Fathers; are a big influence and important factor in our kids lives, because sometimes we do not realize the impact that their absence causes, until it’s too late. There are circumstances where Fathers are unable to be involved, but for those who are able to be present, I hope you recognize your worth and your value. You may need feel, that you’re at the same bar level as the Mothers, but you have to know, that you just have to be you and that you are just as important.

I Love You Quote; Photo by Jorge Urosa

Focus on being; a positive role model, be loving, caring and understanding. Be present and not just offer presents and be patient. Patience is a vital key in parenthood and it does get tested, but sometimes the way you react, will reflect in your child/ren’s behaviour now and in the future. Take one day at a time, because being a parent is not a competition. Being a parent; is a continuous learning curve, that should be experienced together and what better than to share and grow with others, who may need that support?

Fathers; you are amazing and I appreciate you all sharing your insight on Fatherhood, it has been a real eye opener and has touched me deeply, to now see the trials that Fathers have to go through in life and I hope this blog inspires other Fathers out there.

Whatever trials and challenges you face as a Father; I hope that you see your potential, to become greater as an individual. You are never alone, even when it feels like it, so don’t try to tackle everything yourself. There is always a helping hand out there, waiting to hold onto yours.

And as Maya Angelou said: “When you know better, you do better.”

So there you have it guys, let me know in the comments if this has helped you! xx