My Anxiety

Anxiety, where do I start?

How do I explain, the silent and caged shouts?

The way my body feels, when things get too much..

My hands get sweaty and they start to shake,

My heart races so fast, it feels like it's about to break.

My stomach aches, as if it hasn't been fed,

So then nausea decides to tag in, instead.

My eyes become teary and they stream like a fountain,

My voice trembles and echoes, like I'm standing on top of a mountain.

My body becomes uncontrollable, it quivers, it has a mind of it's own,

Followed by the incoming thoughts, of feeling helpless and alone.

My chest becomes like an excavator,

causing a crushing sensation,

Breathlessness arrives, from the palpitations and aggregation.

Anxiety.

How do I explain, the thoughts that run through my mind, day in and day out?

The constant questions, replays and doubts?

Wanting to say no, but my nature says yes,

Like anxiety, come on, when will you give it a rest?

Trying to adapt to new tasks, with a smile on my face,

Being surrounded by people, sets off an internal craze.

Waiting for that message, which I know will set me off,

So I work myself up, until restlessness hits and I start to become lost.

Tiredness becomes exhaustion, exhaustion becomes a mental breakdown,

Losing passion, purpose and motivation, so I stand down and back out.

Feeling overwhelmed, by the responsibilities, that rest on me,

For the love and care I hold, takes priority over me.

As I place myself in line, the queue just grows,

When will I be first, who knows?

Because, who am I?

Why am I back in the same situation again?

I can do this, no I can't, yes I can.

Anxiety.

But I won't let it win,

I won't let it define me.

It may have a hold of me, for now,

But when I break free, oh anxiety you will see,

I'm going to soar, like the child, God called me to be.