Let’s talk about inordinate affection – when love becomes all-consuming and steps outside its divine purpose.
Love is a gift from God, a powerful force that brings joy, connection, and meaning to our lives, just as Deuteronomy Chapter 6, Verse 5 minds us: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength”.
But what happens, when love goes beyond its intended boundaries and becomes overwhelming or misplaced?
This is where we understand the concept of inordinate affection and how it can be navigated with the guidance of faith.
What Is Inordinate Affection?
Inordinate affection refers to love or desire that is excessive, misdirected, or out of balance with God’s intentions for us.
It’s when our affections become more about our desires and less about what’s right and holy.
This can lead us down paths of sexual immorality and evil concupiscence—fancy words for the kind of behaviour that pulls us away from a godly life.
The Bible warns us about these dangers. Colossians 3:5 tells us to “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry.”
When our affections become inordinate, they can overshadow our devotion to the Lord Jesus and distort our relationships; not only with those we love, but it can also pull us away from God, causing us to walk a path that God has not designed for us.
How To Recognise The Signs of Inordinate Affection
One of the first steps in navigating inordinate affection is recognising when our love and desires have become misaligned with God’s will.
Here are some signs to look out for:
- Obsessive Thoughts: When you find yourself constantly thinking about a person or thing to the point of distraction, it could be a sign of inordinate affection.
- Compromising Values: If you’re compromising your values or disobeying God’s commandments to pursue these desires, it’s a clear indication.
- Neglecting Responsibilities: When your responsibilities, whether personal, familial, or spiritual, take a back seat to your desires, it’s time to reassess.
- Emotional Turmoil: Inordinate affections often lead to emotional instability—anxiety, jealousy, and mood swings can be signs that your heart is not at peace.
How To Overcome Inordinate Affection: 6 Steps
So, how do we navigate these overwhelming feelings? Here are a few steps that can help:
1. Turn to Jesus Christ
Our first and foremost source of strength and guidance is Jesus. When we feel our affections getting out of control, turning to the Lord in prayer can ground us. Ask for His help to align your desires with His will.
2. Seek the Holy Spirit’s Guidance
The Holy Spirit is our helper, offering wisdom and discernment. Invite the Spirit into your heart to help you recognise when your affections are becoming inordinate and to provide the strength to redirect them.
3. Reflect on Your Heart’s Desires
Take time to honestly reflect on what you’re feeling and why. Are these desires leading you closer to God, or are they pulling you away? Honest self-reflection can reveal a lot about the state of your heart.
4. Engage with Scripture
The Bible is full of wisdom on how to live a life that honours God. Meditate on verses that speak to purity, love, and godly living. Let God’s Word be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path (Psalm 119:105).
5. Connect with Fellow Believers
Sometimes, sharing your struggles with trusted friends or mentors in Christ can provide much-needed support and accountability. We’re not meant to walk this journey alone.
6. Pursue Godly Loves
Redirect your affections towards things that honour God—acts of kindness, serving others, and loving as Christ loved us. When our hearts are filled with godly love, there’s less room for inordinate affection.
Psalm Chapter 38, Verse 21 is a heartfelt message; “Lord, do not forsake me; do not be far from me, my God”. This bible verse, is a reminder of how ordinate affection, can cause you to become far from God.
Without God in your life, it feels that there is empty space, because His divine power, His mercifulness and Grace, is more valuable than you know.
The Power of Forgiveness
Another aspect to consider is forgiveness; both for yourself and others.
If inordinate affections have led to actions you regret, remember that our Lord Jesus offers forgiveness and redemption.
Acts Chapter 13, Verse 38 is a profound reminder “Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you”.
Confess your sins, seek forgiveness, and embrace the new start that Christ offers.
Living a Life of Holy Affections
Our love should reflect the love of Christ, pure and selfless.
It’s about finding balance and ensuring that our affections don’t lead us into the flesh’s desires but rather into a life that glorifies our one God.
In a world that often promotes selfish and harmful desires, let’s strive to live out holy affections that honour the Lord and enrich our lives and the lives of those around us.
2 Peter Chapter 1, Verse 3: “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness”. Reminds us that God created us for love and connection, and He also calls us to live with wisdom and discernment, through instilling His words in our hearts, He supplies everything, we need to walk a righteous life.
When love becomes overwhelming, lean on the Lord, seek the Holy Spirit, and let your life be a testament to His grace and truth.
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